[Thomas Waters. R.M., to his wife. Elizabeth]
Addressed to Mrs Waters, 21 Mulgrave Place, Woolwich, Kent
13 H.M.S. Barham Napoli de Romania 26th Dec/ 1832
My Dearest Love
I am sorry to find that Joseph is again ill but whilst he continues a naughty boy he need not expect good health; not satisfied with the kind of victuals that you think proper for him he must needs help himself, when you are out of the way, to what he knows would give you displeasure; by that means he sets a bad example to the younger children and very likely eats what disagrees with him; What can he expect but sickness and blame, and Mary must not expect to be exempt while she does the same; if you recollect I attribute Joseph’s first sickness to the rich soup that he used to get from a Neighbour at Kingsland Place who I am sure really intended it for his benefit, afterwards he became troubled with a pain in his ear which was not relieved without a copious discharge from it; I am
firmly of opinion that our children’s health would not be bad, had they been brought up upon that sort of diet which I have invariably advocated; our children do not inherit robust constitutions but with proper treatment I think they may become good; Cheese I consider very bad for them; Butter they would be better without; Mary should not eat so much confectionary, gingerbread etc., Nuts of all sorts, in large quantities, are bad for the children; a little fruit no doubt is very wholesome for them but even that in moderation, and most of it would be much improved if first brought within the benign influence of the fire; dinners for weakly stomachs should be always warm and made tasteful by a little seasoning; perhaps the rarest art we meet with, is good cooking with moderate means, one day’s hot meal, (with the essence evaporated up the chimney or in the oven,) and a week’s cold and comfortless; some people think, that time in cooking is lost except for themselves, whereas, it is the first necessary of life and the most conducive to Happiness and of course to Health; What is more smiling than a smoking hot dinner; it matter not what it is as long as it is made tasty; a dish of different kinds of vegetables nicely stewed, in the digester [early version of a pressure cooker] or camp oven, with a small quantity of roasting, or other, fat, with a proper seasoning of pepper and salt; or a nice Irish stew with but little meat in it; a little animal food for the elder children I do not object to, they are now used to it, and therefore perhaps in some measure they require it; and, if a comforting dinner is necessary in Winter it is also in Summer, Children come home from school almost exhausted of their strength from the overpowering effects of a close atmosphere, they have no appetites, they cannot eat, unless it is something very relishing, which perhaps they cannot have, the consequence is, nature deprived of its necessary support in a little time gives way, the children are laid up, the Doctor is sent for, he must be paid, they must be tended upon and so much of their time lost, and all probably from a want of a little cooking; I am far from being an advocate for allowing children to choose what they please but their appetites should not be palled by their continually having the same kind of food placed before them for their dinner, they require a change as you know when you was at school; and what I say for the children holds good with respect to the father of the family, when he comes home from employment to a miserably prepared repast naturally enough he becomes discontented with ever thing around him and the poor children generally become the chief sufferers, the mother upbraids him for what is her own fault and it follows that they have a Hell in the house where they might have a Heaven; it is not expensive living I recommend, that will never suit a confined income, nor my notions of economy, but such as may be brought by good management within a poor man’s pay, for he must be poor indeed who can seldom have a hot and savoury dinner although it may be but of herbs; I recommend Mary to purchase a good tract upon cheap cooking I will repay her four times the price, please Providence I return, and make her a present besides, if I find that she has made good use of the book. I hope Mary’s disappointment will not be lost upon her; if she is a sensible girl she will derive considerable benefit from it in her future life; indeed the invitation, ought neither to have been given nor accepted; by the by Mary mentions something about a gold ring, now if it is for me I shall be exceedingly annoyed, in truth, it would be folly to provide me with an idle thing that would be perpetually reminding me of a loss that you wish to forget. I am very sorry that any of our children are passionate, it is a misfortune of a most serious kind which I hope you will try to overcome by all the mild and most persuasive means in your power; do not let one child teaze [tease] another for that is very tormenting to the temper. Your letter of the 5th Nov. I have received. Wishing you all a most happy new year, believe me my Dearest Wife ever
yours most devotedly
Thos. Waters