[Thomas Waters. R.M.. to his wife. Elizabeth]
Addressed to Mrs Waters, 21 Mulgrave Place, Woolwich, Kent
H.M.S.Barham Spithead 24th Aug.t 1831
My Dearest Love
I hope you are in better spirits than you was when you wrote to me on the 10th, you must not allow them to be depressed when you meet with difficulties, but as difficulties increase endeavour to rise superior to them, there is One above who will support us, if we look to him, and do our best, look to your neighbour Ann, what was her situation when Hindle came to me, and what is it now, she
grumbles and gets on, and even it seems can now and then assist you. Keep the children in strict order and you will easier manage them, Mr Dixon will not punish them without cause, they must do as they are bid, or they will not thrive, you know I was severe with them often, when you thought me wrong- You must not mind if your expenses are heavy, they will be lighter next year, particularly, when you talk of doing without a servant next summer. consider the advantages you have, and you know I will always endeavour to be a comfort to you, I know you have many difficulties to contend with, that, I am sorry I cannot relieve you from, but if it please the Almighty that we can but live separated from each other for three years, X hope X shall be a consolation to you for our lives after. How very awfully grand that thunder storm must have been! I am sure you supported yourself nobly, tho’ not without some disquietude as such a visitation must naturally create. Poor Benge and Betsey, you must have trouble enough with them, with sometimes no servant and sometimes a mere useless one, I do not know how you manage, but keep up your spirits, imitate Mrs. Nicholls in that. I am sorry you found the heat so oppressive, we have felt nothing of it at sea- I am glad Ann is laying by money while she can, money, by and by she will find, makes money. I am glad Mrs.Fillingham is so prudent as to have money in the Saving Bank, her Husband seems to be a careful good man, I am very well pleased with him. Benjamin I suppose makes good use of the garden, I have no doubt he is very industrious, it will do him no hurt, now and then, I dare say, he dirts his clothes and shoes, but those are easier cleaned than he is nursed when he is sick, and you can always get some one or other to wash up a few things, and I do not mind Thomas digging the garden if he will not neglect his books- I am pleased that my letters console you, I hope you will believe that your happiness is to me my existence. Poor Betsey must be a great trouble to you, but I hope in time she will be a comfort. I hope the children will behave better, remember me to them- The 18th the squadron left the Downs, and arrived at Spithead on the 22nd where I received your letter of the 19th and Mary’s likeness a very good one. If you really think that the boys are harshly, and undeservedly so, treated you will do right to remove them to any school where you think they will get on better and meet with kinder treatment, children should be instructed with mildness but firmness, severity with them is injudicious, and my Love be you also firm towards the children, you know their interest better than they do- I am not prejudiced against or in favour of any particular school, where the children can be best instructed and most mildly governed, there I wish them to be sent. It is said the Barham is to go to the Mediterranean, but we have not been able to ascertain the certainty, neither can I say when we leave this Place. But I remain My Dearest Love yours most affectionately
Thos. Waters