From John Waters to his brother Thomas Waters Jr. (November 23, 1846)

Surbiton Hill, 

Kingston, Surrey. 

Nov. 23, 1846.

Dear Brother Thomas,

I hope it hasn’t been from want of affection, that I have so long neglected to write to one who ought to be very dear to me, and whom I feel to be very dear, neither has it been for want of time, for I find time to write to those whom I often see.  I think one sometimes feels less interest to write to those who are at a distance, it may be from the length of time One’s letters are on the journey and the uncertainty of their reaching their destination, this may be enough to serve as a poor or partial excuse for neglect in writing.  One of Elizabeth’s school girls, a young and rich Friend, is certainly fond of sailors, she loves to draw them, and loves more to see them, and read about them.  I have not so great an attachment for sailors but I am very partial to them, I see many about Ratcliffe, but in what a low, degraded and demoralized class do they shew themselves to the world.  I hope we see the worst of them in this enlightened country.  Sailors might be singularly useful for they visit in many climes, and were they desirous that all should be benefitted by what themselves have been taught, the language of scripture would be verified, we do hear them all speak in their own tongues the wonderful works of God.  All things seem to be going on here pretty much as usual, new buildings are rising, business may be a little flourishing, we have such an abundance of vegetables and apples, that we scarcely know how to use them.  Papa is in the garden nearly all the day, age seems gradually to wear him down, he sometimes is restless but we find it prudent to make way for him, Mamma still holds up well, she gradually gets thinner, all the rest are in tolerable health excepting brother Benjamin and myself.  Ben appears to be tolerably now though not strong.  I am very poorly altho I feel daily to be gaining renewed strength, it is probable that I may now recover.  I can walk about twice the length of our garden ————–symptoms of a confirmed consumption.  I was first attacked with hemorrhage, vomiting quantities of blood which occurred nearly 7 weeks ago.  I then kept my bed for a fortnight (nearly) and soon after removed to this place.  I have since suffered a relapse, it brings me so extremely low and weak as to deprive me of my voice and disables me to move even on either of my sides, with this attack I have nearly kept my bed the remaining part of the 7 weeks, do not be alarmed if I say I anticipate these frequent attacks until I am removed hence to be no more here, my hands are very thin, my legs will scarcely support me without the help of a stick.  I live chiefly upon milk and other nutritious food, all my goods are coming from London to this place, papa does not contemplate my return of strength for a 12 months.  Ah it may never again return.  How unspeakably joyful must be the contemplation of those who join in with the apostle being able to say I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith ——- there are who at times have not felt a secret influence and power within to turn from darkness to marvellous light very few, there are who have not heard in the secret of their hearts a voice crying “draw near to me and I will draw near to thee” [several lines undecipherable] great peace and nothing shall offend, they shall rejoice evermore. Truly it is an unspeakable blessing when the hour of trial is at hand to know we have trusted in one who is All Mighty to —, one who never leaves or forsakes, one who —– closer than a brother.  Excuse me, dear brother if an excuse is needful, writing so much upon a subject unheeded by and so insipid to many.  A right ordering of ourselves is no unprofitable study.  Henry Watson had a daughter born to him this month, if I have opportunity I will ask him to write to thee.  I should like a description of some foreign parts you touch at, should it please the Lord to restore me I hope yet to settle in America, should I have a prospect there of doing well as a farmer, I long to go.  Capt. Taylor has gone there.  I hear nothing of the Bissetts, Richard I believe is married now.  Do not be long away at sea, come again and see us and take me abroad. Ben talks of America.  I have so many acquaintances in London that during my illness sometimes a dozen would call during the day, no intercourse that I know of with any of our old acquaintances. Batchelor my companion has been a month or more in Bristol with his friends, he talks of trying his fortune at Paris.  There is so much monotony in the life of a landsman that really one cannot tell so many striking scenes as a sailor who is constantly moving and changing scenes ere long the scene of life will close with us all, a few more years, perhaps only days for some of us, and all will be over, this is a solemn thought I think of it it concerns both thee and me.

Farewell dear brother and believe me to remain I hope not an unworthy but affectionate brother.

John Waters.

P.S. We received a letter from thee dated June – they give us much pleasure I can imagine that ours also give pleasure.

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