From Thomas Waters Sr. to his wife Elizabeth Waters (September 6, 1840)

[Thomas Waters, R.M., to his wife, Elizabeth]

Addressed to Mrs Capt,Waters R.M., Royal Marines, Woolwich, Kent

Birmingham 6 Sept.1840

My dear Wife,

your letter of the 3rd came to hand the 5th Inst. so very dirty that I was ashamed to see it, the Letter looked as if it had been carried about in a dirty pocket for a week or more.  With respect to Miss William’s school you will of course do as you think proper but I should remove the children from it, you might let them remain to the end of this Quarter or even till Christmas but no longer, what Miss Williams says now is for her own interest and is no excuse for her former conduct nor will it be surety for the future. I cannot approve at all Elizabeth’s attending upon the child with sore eyes or even sitting near her, Miss W. does not appear to me calculated for conducting a school respectably, she seems to me neither attentive, patient or amiable to children, I understood by your Letter that you were desirous to send the children to the next school to you and I approve of it, your reasons are good for not sending them to the school in George Street, Miss W.’s apology, (her sister’s dangerous illness,) for her rudeness in not allowing Jane to stay, after requesting Mary to send her is all stuff, it was her own irritable temper which unfits her for the conduct of a school.  As for Benjamin he will remain of course where he is until Mr.Geffery gives notice of his resignation of the day parts of his school. I shall be sorry if Mr.G. does resign his day school because I think Benjamin will not do better than at his present school and therefore he may change for the worst, but we had better endeavour to hope for the best when there is no help for it, in this world there appears to be no standing still, but I keep moving backward or forward, this way or that, upward or downward, we are told that the Oak only gets firmer rooted the more it is opposed by the wind so we may hope the more difficulties we encounter the firmer we shall be at last, and so overcome obstacles that appear now insuperable.  The poor in general are bad managers and wasteful, go where we will, and they are very unwilling to be taught, they seem to think that old ways are best, what did for their forefathers in the way of house management will do well enough for themselves, true economy is only to be acquired by study and that the poor despise, they think it soon enough to be careful when there is nothing left, and I do not wonder at it when it is continually preached up to them take no thought for to-morrow, and give, give liberally, but not a word about paying debts. Charity will cover that sinful neglect, but if we are to believe reasoning faculties it will not convince a truly upright person, I am of opinion that economy and good management are very useful studies, our comforts are dependent upon good Housewifery and carefullness, to know how to get money only, will not serve us to the end unless we also know how to save, for the power to get money may forsake us when we stand most in need of it, but carefulness once acquired, with good management, will not be likely to forsake us in our old age when home may then be our happy home God send- You were right not to lend money, you would have hurt your family without the least probability of benefitting the individual who wanted to borrow it- It would be particularly beneficial, I think, to John to endeavour to acquire patience, without that there is no rising to permanent eminence in the World, to raise himself securely it is first necessary to lay a good foundation, a small house with a good foundation is better to settle in than a large house with a bad foundation, if a person attempts to ride faster than the horse is willing or able to carry him he is very likely to go over the horse’s head and be left behind, I dare say that much may yet be learned in the shop in which John now is, or at least that he can make himself more perfect in what he has already learned, it is best for him to wait Mr.Millar’s pleasure, perhaps the beginning of next year may turn out something favourable to John’s reasonable wishes, at least I think it best to wait till then for a favourable opportunity to hint to Mr.Millar how much he should like to be appointed to some other department of the manufactory, as it is, having free access, he may pick up a great deal of knowledge, there may be a degree of jealousy in Mr.M.’s fearing that John may get a knowledge of Mr.Millar’s improvements for Mr.Laird’s benefit or that John may impart discoverys to Billing’s employers, there is no knowing, but that to ourselves, a silent tongue sometimes is a proof of a prudent head.  It is by patience, by ability, by perseverance and by prudence together that he must expect to rise in the world, Patience is absolutely necessary, with other qualifications, to wait the favourable opportunity to get on and ability to be able to seize and to know when to seize that opportunity and then to persevere in forwarding himself with common Prudence.  Mr.Millar will not be forced out of his way, there is no help that I know of but to endeavour to win him by time and strict attention and by doing all that is necessary to please him, I have no doubt that John with his good conduct will in time obtain all his reasonable wishes, but the appearance of contentment is a very useful virtue to our happiness and real Prosperity, without it every thing is apt to sour on the mind and to affect every thing near it, like gall that gives every thing a tang that it touchs or Musk that spreads its efluvia around and injures the flavour of victuals without the substance touching them.  I am glad Nancy is registered, it was very kind of Mr.Nokes to call for that purpose-  You have been a long time confined to the house.  Bread here is fallen a halfpenny the Quatern loaf.  Mrs.Meheux’s child is not so well for being so fat, the child’s broken back what a misfortune it will be to the child. Thomas I hope will do very well without a letter from me yet.

With best wishes to all I remain Yours Affectionately

    Tho^s. Waters