From Thomas Waters Sr. to his wife Elizabeth Waters (August 28, 1840)

[Thomas Waters, R.M., to his wife, Elizabeth]

Addressed to Mrs Capt.Waters R.M., King Street, Woolwich, Kent

Birmingham 28 Aug. 1840

My dear Wife,

I am glad John’s fingers look nicely and that they are in a fair way for recovery, these little accidents now and then are of service, they teach caution and are the means of preventing more serious casualties, in fact I think we have reason to be thankful for trifling accidents now and then, otherwise we should get too careless thinking that no misfortune will happen to us and then perhaps a calamity of ten fold force falls upon us and takes us quite unprepared and off our guard, accidents seldom happen but through carelessness some way or other or in some one or other, that is to say an accident may happen to us through another’s carelessness, I dare say John can trace his accident in some degree to inattention, however I am glad that his fingers are getting right, as they say all is well that ends well and accidents I know will happen sometimes, to my own inconvenience.  I do not want any Cocoa yet but John can buy me 4 lbs. in two or three weeks time,  I am very glad to find from you that it is not your intention to be churched, I do think it a mere ceremony invented by the Priests for the purpose of extorting money in ancient times, I do think you can return thanks to the Almighty in your own house quite as effectually as you would in a church and far more so than the Parson could for you, and you can repeat your thanks at the proper time in your own Pew, when your health and the baby’s age will better admit of it, without parade or show, until then I think your prayers at home and your attention to the Infant and to your other domestic affairs are of far more consequence to the welfare of the family, put your shoulder to your family duties, and then pray, otherwise I fear your prayers will have but little effect if any, otherwise than that God might put it into your mind to exert yourself.  It is an excellent thing that Parents can now get their children’s births registered without being beholden to the clergyman, a proof that our Laws are improving and I hope they will go on improving, I think it hard that we should be obliged to support the church when it has endowments for that purpose and we have to pay for a sitting besides, and yet we see the various denominations of Dissenters so amply providing, voluntary, for their worship and places of worship, and why should not the established church also?  if it is far more numerous, of course, it is far more able to provide for itself voluntarily which I trust, in time, it will be obliged to do for itself as separatists do now, the Roman Catholics are building a splendid edifice here, the building alone it is said will cost forty thousand pounds besides the deal of money that has been laid out in land and old building with which it was occupied and the Catholics are going to endow their church, it is said, and to provide a mansion here for a Bishop- I think a servant of Mrs. Meheux’s recommendation will never suit you. in fact many people recommend a person because a person importunes for a recommendation for himself or others without regarding merit or demerit which of course is wrong and should not be done but it is done and therefore it is proper that you should be on your guard against imposition of that kind.  I think Betsey Redding might help to get a person that would suit you, if Ellen has made up her mind to go, the sooner I think that she goes the better, for suspense is very unpleasant both for you and her besides she seems as if she is staying now out of favour to you therefore I would send for Betsey and ask her if she knew anyone that she thought that she could recommend to you who would do you justice, of course you must give the price as far as it is in your power-  I think you will be quite right to remove the children from Miss Williams’ school at the end of this quarter and to send them to the Miss Bawles’ who live next to you, they appear to have some good traits in their conduct and I think there is no ground for hesitation for removing the children from the school at which they are now where you have evident reason to be dissatisfied with that school and where there is so much at stake, your children’s future happiness, I should send for the bill for the children’s schooling tomorrow four weeks which will be the 26 Proximo and if you are asked the reason for withdrawing the children I should say that I was not satisfied for them to remain at the school at which they were and I should decline giving any other reason, no Quarter’s notice is necessary and indeed if I thought proper I would withdraw the children at once, of course paying up to the end of this quarter, and I entirely approve of it. I would not send the children where there is a hazard of imbibing an infectious disease, negligence, or other impropriety to save a very trifling sum compared with the children’s future welfare.  I am not at all fond of changes excepting where it is my interest to change and then I change, without regret, and even with great satisfaction so with the children I would not remove them from one school to benefit another school unless I was dissatified with the first school and I had a better opinion of the second, changes are good or bad according as they are conducted with judgment or a want of judgment.  Mary need not be in a hurry to write to me the few lines which I wrote to her require no answer that I know of.  Let me know in your next how you liked the double long darning needles which I sent you some months ago, whether they are better than the short darning needles. 

With love to children I remain
My dear Wife Yours affectionately

        Tho^s. Waters