From Thomas Waters Sr. to his wife Elizabeth Waters (July 2, 1840)

[Thomas Waters, R.M., to his wife, Elizabeth]

Addressed to Mrs Capt.Waters R.M., King Street, Woolwich, Kent

Birmingham 2 July 1840

My dear Wife,

As you say that Ellen will remain with you some time longer I recommend you by all means to endeavour to put a stop to her discontented manner while she is with you, tell her at once when she talks again of going that it is of no use for her to remain any longer with you if she is dissatisfied, that you have no wish to part with her, but that if she cannot be contented where she is she had better go at once, for that you cannot put up with so much discontent, for it is only upsetting the harmony of the house by her remaining when she is not pleased, You had better caution Mary to let you know when Ellen complains or threatens to go again, for discontent you may depend upon it is infectious or as they say catching, and if you do not take care it will run through the family; I believe Mary’s dissatisfaction arises in a great measure from Ellen’s discourse, you know the proverb, “evil communication corrupts good manners”, I think you will understand my meaning. John is rather touched with discontent and there is some danger that Benjamin will be also, and Sarah requires caution, it is a disorder of the mind which demands great resolution to subdue when once it has gained a footing, and it can be overcome only by the disordered person himself. Probably Betsey Redding may be able to put you in the way to get a girl that may suit should Ellen be really anxious to leave you.  Mr.Butler’s not calling upon you until you send for him is I believe agreeable to your desire.  I never wish you to part with a servant that will tolerably suit you, neither should I like to part with my man, for the longer a servant has been with one the more valuable he becomes if kept in proper order. Hindle suits me here particularly well, I do not know what I should do without him, he is so punctual and attentive, he is my Market-man quite to my satisfaction. I let him in, in the morning, he gets my breakfast at 8, Dinner at 4 and Cocoa at 6 oClock, keeps my rooms in order, emptys my slops etc.etc., the people of the house get up about 9 or a little sooner sometimes, they have an eight day clock in the kitchen but it is often stopped at the end of the week for want of winding up in time, and the clock is scarcely ever right, the people are civil, good sort of folks but so indolent although the Mistress bustles about sometimes but they never meddle with anything that belongs to me which is a great comfort, not to lose anything or have anything disturbed, I have excellent large rooms, convenient and well furnished, the situation is not one of the best but it is tolerable, I have no garden to go into but I can soon be in the fields and there are a number of delightful walks round Birmingham. The morning that your Letter of the 22nd arrived, I was up by a 1/4 after 1 oC. I walked to Warwick, 20 miles, by 7 oC. looked about the place breakfasted at 8 left a little after 9 and was back to my Lodgings a little after 3 oClock.  Warwick is but a small place for a City and not very grand, it has no Manufactory nor does it appear to be at all progressing, it is in a charming country and it has an elegant Watering Place … miles from it called Leamington which I suppose absorbs the fashion and the opulence of the City. So Mrs.Meaux nearly lost her Infant by trusting the management of it to another person, such is the effect of negligence in mothers, and I may add ignorance, but such has not been the case with you, and such happiness I hope you will in time enjoy which your exemplary conduct to your family undoubtedly deserves, health and prosperity with a clear conscience and your family thrivingly round you, you have heard an old saying “it is a long lane that has no turning”, the meaning I take it is, that if you pursue the straight forward course to the best of your judgment without deviating you will be sure to reach the object of your reasonable wishes at last. Industry with good conduct must thrive. But with respect to the Meheuxs how can they probably thrive with so many changes of Servants in so short a time, and one Ton of Coal, where it is so dear, in three Summer week and with their income which I suppose is not large, but however to hear of those things sometimes I think tends to make us more contented with our own lot and to hope that our Lot is not cast on a barren ground, difficulties will occur which may interfere with our desires, but by the same rule, if we were to allow those difficulties to hinder our exertions no one might undertake any hazardous concern because we now and then see some one fail, but that should only redouble our exertions as it leaves an opening to push between through the enterval.  I am quite that Mary enjoyed her jaunt I am sure I shall never grudge her one, so reasonable as she is, and I shall be always happy to subscribe towards the expense so that she may go free and when I can do better for her I will, trusting in Providence that she will patiently wait better fortune which I do not despair getting for her but you know the saying “all in good time”; we must not attempt to go faster than the horse will carry us, if we do we may happen to get over his head and left behind with possibly a broken neck, however my dear what must be must and where we cannot do for ourselves we must pray to God to do for us.  I shall be very glad to spend a few weeks next Summer with the Bevistocks on Plumstead Common-  I have sent to Wolverhampton to inquire about Lodgings for Capt.Heriot I am only waiting the result to let you know the particulars but if he chooses these Parts he had better bring the best of his furniture with him as it would fetch but little and to buy, probably, he would have to pay dear. House rent I believe is moderate but Lodgings for families rather expensive and difficult to get but not so for single men who are supposed to give less trouble than women where every thing is to be done for them.  Coals are from about nine to thirteen shillings a ton, but in other respects I think, living is about as dear here as with you and you have the advantage in being near the Metropolis, but I think Lichfield far preferable to Wolverhampton so smoky and close and the other place so open and airy, consequently so much more healthy, Lichffeld is not a place of business the other is. Enclosed is a Five Pound Note for Payment to Hindle’s Wife whenever he desires it-  With Love to Children I remain yours Affectionately

Tho^s. Waters

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