From Thomas Waters Sr. to his wife Elizabeth Waters (April 29, 1840)

[Thomas Waters, R.M., to his wife, Elizabeth]

Addressed to Mrs Capt. Waters R.M., King Street, Woolwich, Kent

Birmingham 29 April 1840

My dear Wife,

Right glad am I to see your hand-writing again, at the same time I beg to say that I wish you not to trouble your mind about letter writing for some time until you have recovered your fair strength, it is a great comfort to have such an affectionate  and trusty daughter to rely upon, it must have been very annoying to have a stranger popping in just at the time, one may say, when you were with your family indulging in grief for the departure, for a long time, and for a distant voyage, one of your dearly cherished family, I do not fear recalling that grief to your mind for where it is suddenly checked I think it far more injurious to the health and spirits than where it is left to take its natural course, I would therefore wish rather to recall it, and to acknowledge with you that it is a very severe trial for a mother to part with one of her children, even if the child’s conduct was ever so bad which here on the contrary was the reverse, for he is a good and a deserving child and I Pray to the Almighty Power to Bless him and prosper him in all good ways, and may the same Almighty Power make you a joyful mother of what you now carry in your Womb, that you may live to see it grow up to years of discretion, to become an additional blessing to you and the rest of the family- Poor John no doubt was taken by surprise when his friend invited himself, and of course did not know what to say to him, it was a new incident it was one of those occurances which cannot be learnt by
another’s experience but at the same time it is a lesson to him and he will learn in time when to say “it will not be convenient“ there are many things which can only be learned by our own experience and some of those things require many times repeating before we get properly grounded in them, particularly where it requires a great deal of assurance and presence of mind, for instance to tell a person who invites himself to your table, after you have received kindness from him or his family, “it is not at present convenient for to have your company but I shall be happy at some other time
to make you welcome” is a very awkward affair and will puzzle the wisest sometimes, John is a very modest boy and I pride myself in him, I do not wish for that native modesty or what some may perhaps improperly, in my opinion, call bashfulness, to be suddenly set aside. I think it is very becoming in young folks, let them gradually (and I know they will,) acquire assurance as they grow in years and more intimately mix with the world, John will be able to say another time “I am sorry to have to say my mother” (or perhaps some other of the family) “is not very well I therefore cannot at this time have the pleasure of your company but I hope to be able to in a short time.” Mr. Nicolson’s Bill must have been a complete upsitting to you, pecuniary affairs are always bothersome, when we fancy ourselves suspected of negligence or an unwillingness to settle Accounts, but in your then state of mind and body, and coming wholly upon you it was almost more than you could bear, but God supports the weak and sometimes humbles the strong, the Proud are brought low and the feeble are raised up and blessed be the name of the Lord- Poor Mary is a good child and a darling of my heart because she is so good to her Parents and so anxious to do every thing in her power for them, and at the same time so kind and affectionate to her brothers and sisters, she seems the complete prop of your house-hold affairs. The things I sent by Serg.^t Hartley were trifles of little cost and perhaps of little value to you, but they show my zeal at a very trifling expence in money, and I am glad to show it in the best and cheapest manner that I can, that zeal which, I hope and trust, you may always command- It was very kind of Mrs. Mercer to give Thomas a letter of recommendation although it came late yet it showed a good intention particularly as she has shown kindness to us before, and no doubt would do us a real service if she could, Thomas showed good sense in refusing the offer, I think he is likely to do much better where he is, and will make a far better sailor and if he does not like that, a prospect will open to him on shore, I think, where he is going, that I think will suit him, to be sure the letter a twelve month or rather six months ago would have been very acceptable and then probably I should have recommended him to have taken it but now the case is altered and I would rather for him to be as he is, he is now launched entirely into the world. we must resign him to Providence for he is now beyond our leading or governing, and advice from us to him is to little or no purpose, I am quite glad that Sarah has begun writing, it will be a new stimulus to her active mind, and I am convinced it is nothing like leading children on in learning as early as possible, consistent with their health, but by no means to drive, many and many a person has rued the neglect of their education in their early days merely from inattention from their Parents or guardians, not from want of means, I speak feelingly, I felt the oppression of appearing dull when the fault was not mine so much as it was the fault of others, and I in reality became dull from my spirits being borne down- It would indeed be a great gratification to me to see you in Birmingham, but I trust in Providence who orders all things for the best as it is, I have no reason to regret, that I know of, my recruiting at Newark, I have no reason to regret my going to the coast of Affrica, as it brought my family additional comforts, and I have no reason to regret that I went to the Mediterranean, and I do sincerely trust in Providence that I shall have no reason to regret, in the long run, my coming to recruit in this place-

truly and affectionately yours and the childrens- Tho^sWaters
Hindle will be glad if you will send his Wife one Pound—