From Thomas Waters Sr. to his wife Elizabeth Waters (April 12, 1840)

[Thomas Waters, R.M., to his wife, Elizabeth]

Addressed to Mrs Capt.Waters R.M., King Street, Woolwich, Kent

Birmingham 12th April 1840

My dear Wife,

Your Letter of the 10th came to hand yesterday, unsealed, I think you take your seal from the wax before the wax is quite cold. I do not like the idea of your parting with your chest, but do as you think proper, My idea is, Tho^s.’ chest will do well enough, the Carpenter who put the bottom on would have told you if it would not, let John look at it, he must be some judge, if he thinks any thing wants doing to it, let it be done, the bottom is the main thing, it is no use to make ourselves uneasy about nothing, look at the door opening into Mr. Barnet’s garden, rotten when we came into the house, open to all weathers, and yet it seems just as good now as then, 

I certainly am of opinion that Thomas is going to take more things with him than he can possibly take care of, What use was Joseph’s heap of things to him? he did not say that he wore them out, but that some were stolen from him, and some were lost at washing, a few things well taken care of is better than many, where there is such a difficulty in looking after them, the first thing is to learn to take care of himself, and after that, to take care of his things, he cannot learn all at once, who is there on board he can rely upon to take care of him, if he should be so fortunate as to meet with a true friend there, it will be well for him. 

look at John where he has been so long, and in the midst of friends, and see how he is taken in, in the chest. Would not the same man, do you think, have stolen all that John has, if he could have done so with impunity? certainly he would, and roguery is carried on upon the seas and at the places where ships put in at, to a much greater extent than you can possibly conceive, where sailors, on shore, are all thought to be fine fellows, because there is not the same check upon villainy there, that there is among more settled society, and we know that many young men, whose characters are gone, and who, therefore, cannot get a livelihood on shore, as a last resource go to sea for one, and, perhaps, to avoid the effects of the law which they have so often infringed.

I merely throw out these things as hints for you to judge by, but for you to do as you think proper, it will be well for Thomas if he is so fortunate on board as to have one staunch friend, it matters not in what situation in life as long as he is a thorough seaman, not a half and half one, to see that he is taken care of in his sea-sickness, when he first goes to sea, and some one who will instruct him kindly in seafaring matters, a knowledge of these things cannot he [be] obtained by intuition, but by actual practice, and by being patiently instructed, it is of no use to pretend, if we wish to learn, that we know every thing already, but rather seem ignorant, even, of that which we do know, and by that means to invite instruction, for we know we would not feel pleasure in teaching others, who pretend that they know already what we are taking pains to teach them, one thing I wish him to bear in mind, when a thing is wanted to be done, to go and do it, without considering whose business it is, unless he is doing, or attending to something, of perhaps, as much or even more importance, which of course must not be neglected, it will never do, to run from one thing, to the neglect of another, without orders, and after all not knowing what to do, and so get bewildered, it is better to do the
thing nearest at hand, than to do nothing, I mean it as a general rule, not to stand as some do and say it is not my business, such people must never expect to get on in the world, they must never expect, at least, to get above mediocrity, but let a man thoroughly learn to make himself useful, and he can have his own price, he will never be at a standstill, a plenty will be glad to employ him, and he will be able to raise himself upon their shoulders, he brings himself into notice, as a clever useful man and therefore a plenty will be ready to serve him, by endeavouring to serve themselves, but above all, I recommend him to be sober, not to learn to drink out of bravado, be upright, avoid as much as possible being led into temptation, let him take the Scriptures for his christian and his moral guide, and he will not do wrong, my Blessing and, above all, the Almighty’s Blessing I hope he will have, but particularly mind to do as he would wish to be done by. I hope my Wife you enjoy a fair health, that you are quite well, it cannot be expected in your present state and turmoil- I desire my affecti- onate love to the children, and remain Yours truly

    Tho^s. Waters

I do not put my sealing wax on as thick as you, it bends easier, a little, without breaking and I do not put wax in between the paper, for it seldom makes the paper stick together, it is cold before you have finished putting on the wax notice how mine is sealed