From Thomas Waters Sr. to his wife Elizabeth Waters (October 28, 1836)

[Thomas Water, R.M., to his wife, Elizabeth]
Addressed to Mrs Waters, King Street, Woolwich, Kent

Newark 28 Oct. 1836

My Dearest Love,

I do consider it of the utmost importance to the welfare of the children, that not a day or even an hour be unnecessarily lost with respect to their education, as others getting before them in their learning disheartens them so much that they can scarcely ever get forward, and when they arrive at a certain age they feel the greatest repugnance to going to School at all, and the more illiterate they are, the more they feel that repugnance, besides it is best to prepare them as soon as possible, for the first opportunity that offers, for sending them into the World, for a chance lost may not be regained, and their energies are apt to cool and they become indifferent and very apathetic about what becomes of them, especially if they have been disappointed two or three times, I would advise you to write a note to Mr Mc Arthur, say I requested you, that he will be pleased to inform you what school he would recommend for your two sons who are at home, Mr. Barry having given up taking day-pupils, whether he thinks Mr. Plow’s a good school, or whether he imagines Mr. Biggarites or any other better, for a general education; in my last letter I told you what they wanted; we must not forget how very averse Joseph was to going to school latterly, although his education was but indifferent, all things considered, and yet he said, one would think I wanted to make a Schoolmaster of him; you have heard that Mr. McArthur does not approve of his Sons’ school, but he could not tell until he had tried it, and we do not like to withdraw in a hurry, when once we are fixed, therefore, he may very possibly keep his boys there sometime longer, without being satisfied, knowing that a tolerable place of education is better than none, and as a rolling stone gathers no moss, so by a continual change they gain but little knowledge. You know my opinion always has been that we should lose no time in pushing our children on as fast as possible in their learning because their time is precious, and what is lost cannot be regained, I might say much more to you in conversation than I would think proper to write, for reasons that I need not name, possibly some of them will occur to you, however our judgments going together may make our decisions much more perfect, than when divided; we have the same end in view, the general good of our children, but I have more time to think than you have, your domestic avocations must quite fill up your thoughts, mine are more disengaged and perhaps more matured; I can assure that you are all, almost constantly in my thoughts, your peace of mind and happiness are my chief study, they are the incitements to a zealous discharge of my duty; the young folks, poor things, do not know what is best for them, they are gay and thoughtless as is natural for their age, their elders must, at present, think for their happiness here and hereafter, or they will rue it to the day of their death. I did not mention in my last, that three Captains have recently embarked, Mr. Bathurst kindly sent me a Sea duty roster; you may thank Mr. McArthur for a friendly hint he gave me some time ago, I am much indebted to him, he will I have no doubt engage a school for you, if you request him, after you have decided where to send the boys, without at all going yourself; do not, now, to hastily engage a school, without mature consideration, or some one’s strong recommendation; mind, I have no prejudice against any one, that you are given to understand will really do justice- I, have left off tea, and take cocoa for breakfast, (Chambers and Limby’s soluble,) sixteen pence a pound, very excellent, just put into boiling water, in a saucepan, a table spoonful, made to boil up, and it is immediately fit for use, it has no grounds but what is fit to drink, the same as chocolate, I use no sugar, and it agrees exceedingly well with me, I at present take coffee in the evening, but I intend shortly to take cocoa instead, it is far more nourishing than tea, much less expensive, and a deal more strengthening- The weather here is very fine and clear, but seldom troubled with rain, you must pass a month or six weeks with me here in the Summer the change of air, to a pure Atmosphere as this, will be of infinite service to your health, and general benefit to the family, from the renewed energy you will feel for your domestic duties, on your return; Mary will conduct the Household, I trust, to your satisfaction, and by that means derive considerable benefit herself by the experience she will gain in that department, and may at last become a talented housekeeper, the most noble of all acquirements for a woman, in my opinion, in any situation of life. I am sorry your Joe is bad, and that you have such disagreeable weather. I think Ellen’s parents must be very inconsiderate to withdraw their daughter from your house, if they studied properly her interest, they would be glad for her to reside with you altogether, when they have another daughter, also, to supply her place at home, but that is there [their] business not ours, for they would think we were consulting our own interest only, not theirs- With love to my good children and do hope that they will attend to their Parents’ anxious wishes for their welfare, who look to their children for their sole comfort, under gracious Providence, to whom we must all look up, and to whom we must all pray, for protection and grace

I remain my ever beloved your most Affectionate husband

        Tho^s. Waters