From Thomas Waters Sr. to his wife Elizabeth Waters (October 17, 1842)

[Thomas Waters, R.M., to his wife, Elizabeth]

Addressed to Mrs Capt.Waters R.M., King Street, Woolwich

Bull Plain Hertford 17 Oct.1842

My dear Wife

Yours of the 14th came to hand. I hope my dear Child Mary will not allow her disapointment to dwell long on her mind, it is exceeding annoying and indeed mortifying, as it hurts ones pride, but these mortifications are for our good, although not intended so by those who put them upon us, she may rely on it it trains us to bear disappointments of a more serious nature without repining, trusting in Providence for the result, learning to console oneself with the idea that whatever is, if not from our own fault, is best, the Queen herself we may depend upon it, is not without her trials notwithstanding her most exalted station in this life, we cannot say what it will be in the next, it will be, we are taught, according to her virtues in this, and the higher her station and education, the more will be expected from her, but no station on earth is without its trials and disappointments, as for my good dear Child it will raise her eventually in her own estimation and in that of her parents and friends by her learning to bear the evils of life with patience and equnamity,- it will place her superior to them and teach her to look down with composure upon frivolities and trifling desires that torment little minded people and when they have gained them, generally, they have only so much added misery and disappointment.  My poor little Benny I am glad he is better, a good child, and you have done without a Doctor, that is good, and teaches you to trust to yourself where there may be no Doctor to be had, and you are indeed an early riser, which is also good, and you will in all probability, in my judgment, live to the age of your late great-great Aunt and with a happy ending- 

Mary was very considerate for you with respect to your getting some of your favourite cake, I hope she likes it, made into Hardbread-butter-cake,  I am glad you have received your Flannel against Winter’s setting in, I hope you will like the flannel, I perceive the yard you bought here was fourteen pence.  I think you had better make a present to Miss Gibson of so many yards of flannel as she wants, buying and selling between friends seldom ends satisfactorily, the flannel may shrink much by ill management and then; why she will not be, well, able to say that it was, to herself, too dear- 

It is with great satisfaction that I learn from you that my Dear John has been invited by the Turners to dine and tea with them, it places my son’s character in a very high station, it shows me by his patience, firmness, perseverience in the right road, and general good conduct that he is placing himself above petty annoyances, that his mind is superior to allowing those annoyances getting the upper hand of it, and that he is gradually overcoming difficulties, I congratulate my dear Child, and you my Dear Wife for having such a son who I trust will be a Blessing to us all, John was perfectly right in going and I think he would have been wrong if he had not gone to dine with them, I wish him to be ready to meet advances when they appear to be made in the spirit of right goodwill, but to be diffident or rather shy in making advances unless upon the best grounds of Religion and Morality, and I quite approve of John’s inviting young Turner down to dine and stay a night, if it would not be very inconvenient to you, John can tell him that we live in a plain way but if Turner would like to go and spend a day at Woolwich, John will be happy to take him there, and you my Dear, or one of the young folks, if you approve of it, can write to John to that effect. I think it would be as well to send Elizabeth up to the Hospital, perhaps Mr.Hunter or Mr.Baird will let you know what is the matter with her, I have no doubt the boils and the rash are for her good in coming out but of course it would be a satisfaction to know if any thing, and what, is to be done for it, I imagine the grand point for her health is to keep the rash and boils out until they die away of themselves, I am glad Sarah is so well and Jane looking better and is so kind to her sister Nancy, who is so teasing, and that Nancy is so merry, and I hope she will be kind to her sister Jane in return when she knows better, I am sorry my Dear Mary is not so well as could be wished and that she sometimes suffers much pain but I hope my dear Child will be well at last by her persevering in the right road to Health and Happiness which she is sure to attain by the Almighty’s Blessing at last-  My dearest dearest Children and Loving Wife must excuse my absence next Xmas unless it pleases the Almighty to order otherwise.  My Potatoes cost me more by buying them by the bushel at 1/6, and not good Potatoes neither, than they did at 2/s the bushel by buying them by the 1/2 gal. but however I have tried another bushel, very good ones, from Mrs. Staples’ man at 1/4, she says they are to be had cheaper but not so good, potatoes are now 2 l/2d per single gal.  Salt here is a penny pr. lb.  I sent Elms to Head Quarters last monday the 10th Inst. he was fallen into the hands of a bad one, the Saturday morning he had leave from me to go to Broxbourne (5 miles,) and I did not see him again untill monday morning and then I went to the Rendezvous a little before 8 oC. and found that he was not up, the Sunday morning the Serjeant told me that he thought he knew where to find him, he went and found him the same forenoon about a mile and 1/2 from this place in a miserable little cottage, the Serg.^t told Elms to get ready and go with back for that Capt.Waters wanted him, but Elms made excuses and said he was not in a fit state, the Serg.^t gave him 1/2 an hour to prepare himself, at the end of that time the Serg.^t looked for him but could not find him and did not see him until 8 oClock at night when Elms came into the rendezvous, I had intimation from one of my party of the man’s dishonesty, and when Mrs.Staples heard that I was going to send Elms away she very respectfully sent her maid to me to know if I had not forgotten to pay my last weeks lodgings as I had always been so very punctual, I said I had given the money to Elms as usual; I immediately went to the rendezvous and questioned Elms in the presence of the Sergeant and Elms said he had paid all that he had received, but on pressing closely on the subject he acknowledged that he had received the 1/2 sovereign from me on the friday as usual, that he had not paid for that weeks lodging, but I could not get from him what he did with the 1/2 sovereign nor did I try hard about it as it would have been of no use and perhaps he would have only told me a lie, at the Inn he owes 12/s and my washerwoman, but I believe she is a bad one, tells the Serg. that I owe for my last washing, but I do not believe her, it was fortunate that I directed the Serg.^t to pay him twice a week instead of twice a month as before as he got rid of his money, I believe, just as soon as he got it for he would have been more in debt for his living and he would not have been able to refund me what had been overpaid him when I sent him away, the Serg.^t when he examined Elms’ kit found but little in his knapsack I suppose some of his clothes were gone with his money, he took my blacking box with him, I think he must have been fast on to ruin when he would so daringly and cooly put the 10/s for my lodging in his pocket, instead of paying it to my Landlady, when there was no immediate temptation in the way, and he was sure to be found out and then his character would be gone and he would follow.  I have now a man of the name of James Chapman, I like him very well, he enlisted here last March, the Sergeant recommended him to me when I sent Elms up, Chapman was doing duty at Deptford but he was down here on Wednesday night, his mother bought him a new jacket and waistcoat and he had at home a pair of Corderoy trousers as good as new, he has been brought up to the farming line and looks as happy and contented as you please, he asked, and has my permission to go home to his meals and sleep, about 1/2 a mile beyond where I showed you that Capt.Phillips had a house, James told me Saturday, that he should see, next day, ten brothers & sisters of his, in his father’s cottage, all poor, but those that were grown up were getting on very well, James assists, I believe, in his father’s garden, a good large one he says, and it keeps him from idleness and temptation, as he has no need to go to a pothouse for his living, he is very attentive but a little awkward, at the same time willing to learn.  I took Miss Gibson’s nephew out last Saturday and saturday week a blackberrying.  I had with me young Brutton, and a lad of the name of Bishop, from Exeter, whom Capt. Brutton introduced to us, a nice lad, and indeed last saturday, I had also a lad of the name of Dance, from Chelsea, a school friend of young Brutton’s, the children enjoy the run very much, they go with me about 1/2 past 1 oC. when they have dined, and I return them about 4 oC.  Young Gibson appears good tempered, but to have been neglected, and, one might fancy, cowed down, I do not think he is a shiner, he is lively enough. 

Love to all my Dear family, wishing you all a delightful Winter.
Yours my Dear Wife Affectionately

           Tho^s. Waters